It happened not so long ago from today. But, what’s astounding is - that it happened one day. Uncalled for.
It was one of the first weeks when rains had just settled into the city and we had just got into the full swing mode with our project submissions et al.
It was a Saturday. Dress code – Formals. Occasion – College Film Festival. Attendance – Compulsory.
Yaaaiikss..I so loathed the whole idea of “the dress code”. “Semi-formals”. That’s what I would read it as;)
“Cow dung”. I said to myself as I reran through my plan. Bear in for two movie premieres and sneak out for a bladder break...only not to return there after ;) I didn't feel guilty breaking rules once in a while.. The weather had lured me into doing this. The tube light white of the sky, the enchanting smell of the wet soil, the sudden life in the luscious green spread and the fuelled rainbow reflecting puddles.. With so much outside only “cow dung” could turn me in!
I entered the auditorium while it was still getting filled and headed to the top most of the empty rows, usually preoccupied by either the ‘gangwallahs’ or the ‘you & I couples’ of my batch. It was affirmative that neither of the two would disturb my solitude or my plan. So, I sat down as everyone around began to settle in; watching seats being booked, A/Vs being checked, roll call and volunteers running with bouquets for the judges’ welcome.. A lot of people butter skating their way to clear exams. How I damned this whole idea at that moment.
I wanted to be OUT. Out, where life was playing its own orchestra. And here I was - Capsuled within the four high walls of the audi, earning brownie points for having “attended” the event!
“Chuck it!” I took to Plan B. I refused to be in 2 places at the same time and made my pick. And just as I began to pick up my bag to leave, he appeared. To me, at that moment, he appeared out of sheer nowhereness and placed his helmet right below the seat next to me blocking my way out.
Gosh! I opened my mouth to talk and shut it the very same instant… when I looked into those eyes. Those eyes. Man!
I sat down back into my seat as if ordered by some external force and looked at him again.
He was too busy, shuffling between some goddamn papers and I was happy to know that he didn’t notice me noticing him;)
Hmmm.. I had never seen him before. “May be, he’s new or maybe he’s a proxy.” In any case, I didn’t care till he didn’t notice me. I was already sketching him in my virtual Photoshop folder. “For future references”, I justified myself. “Mud beige t-shirt hand tailored from the bottom; washed out jeans; out-of-the-bed hairdo and those magnetic, deep eyes.” I wanted to drown in those eyes.
Shit. I’ve never noticed so much in a guy before. Or maybe I never came across “him” before.
Simultaneously, of course, the event began and the jury was slowly unfolded. “Whatever...” I chuckled as a name was announced from the dais and it turned out to be his.
God! I swear on God, I never in my wittiest guesses chanced “him” to be a jury member. “Shit.” I said again. Only that it was audible this time.
Startled by my welcome note for “him”, he looked at me for the first time then. And did something for which he could have been charged for a lifetime. He smiled.
Man! That smile - starting from his one ear and meeting the other, covering the entire universe in its span! It killed me, there and then. Shot dead.
Though, I’m not sure if I smiled back or fumbled lamely. I was not me anymore. Something was happening and I did really not like it. It’s like when you are driving your own car and the brakes refuse to follow your command. Humph!
To further add to my dismay, the lights went out for the premiere show. “Perfect”. “Just when I lose the key to my own house, someone schemes a dark out!”
Now, I was really stuck. Stuck between wanting to get a grip of my hormonal, emotional, sentimental or whatever that was loudening the music inside my body to so desperately wanting to slow down the time from taking this moment away from me.
So, this was it. This was my
coup de foudre moment. And I, as usual was not dressed for the occasion.
As the first movie rolled out, ramblings in my head roll – “At least you could have done your hair neatly or used the gloss for once!! Blah blah..The voice went on, but, I was adamant to figure out what had caused my breaks to fail!
I watched “him” from the corner of my eye and my eyes got affixed to “him” like metal to magnet.
Holy God! How I loved his sight. His undone hair, his bottomless eyes and his 360 Volt killer smile. I wanted to talk to him. I wanted him to know that he had just killed me. But, my mind flatly refused to accompany my thoughts to my mouth!"Traitor!"
Meanwhile, the audi suddenly sprang up to life and the judges gave their feedback, one by one. When he spoke, he killed me again. Now, he was charged for twin murders and he was totally oblivious of his crime yet! He spoke “intelligence”, I marked as he dished out the tiniest nuances of film making, camera handling, light usage, subject research,etc. And all this without boasting to be a “know-it-all.”
So, the guy with killer looks carried a brain and humility along as well. I must have died again...
As the movies unfolded, my gaze followed his moves between the occasional blackouts and light breaks. I could have continued to watch “him” for the rest of my life, I thought. I had just sprung up to life, after all.
And then came in The Intermission.
I couldn’t believe myself. I sat through half of the day within these walls and now wanted to let go of my glorious chance to “the great escape”
for a complete stranger. I no longer wished to be outside when my breath was immobilized inside.I sat through the entire break ensuring no one else would take away my seat and hoping that “he” would not change his place on return. He didn’t. Another smile and I minused another life from me.
“A few more smiles and it’s Game Over for me.” I blushed and “he” spoke. We spoke. About the movies, studies, blah blah.. I don’t really remember the full conversation we had, but, I was glad that the iceberg was finally broken.
The lights dimmed out and we spoke again. The movies turned out to be really hilarious and we got a topic on hand to discuss. He found company to share his thoughts and I found a whole new reason to live life again.
It’s funny how ‘time’ hoodwinks us during our best moments in life. We were done with the show and he had to leave. I had to leave too…To get back to a routine I no longer related to, to get back to a life which suddenly felt incomplete & unreal without “him”.
“Courage! Find it, dig it, hunt for it..I don’t care..Get it for me!” I must have ran this instruction through my system a zillion times before catching hold of that thief.
“Ummmm..Excuse me. How can we stay in touch?” I asked him. I think my question was very direct & I expected him to give me his card or number. He replied, “Just google my name. You’ll find me.” DAMN HIM!! I was clean bowled.
As he moved down the stairs of the audi, I watched him from behind. He came into my life like
a bubble from nowhere and disappeared just like it into nowhere. A bubble that’s hard to define, harder to catch and hardest to preserve. You have to watch it disappear in thin air and preserve all that it offers you – a magical memory and a happy face:)
Would I really google him out? Would I really get in touch with him? Was it really what I thought it was? Was he really who I thought he was? Would we really get connected? Would the story in my head spring to life as I had that day? Would I tell him what I felt? Would the guilty be charged? Questions loomed over me.
Then, there, I had no answers to any of these.
Today, do I have answers to any of these? Yes and No.
He came in without my permission. I loved him without his.The answer to
where this story ends or
how it ends is answered in the beginning itself.
P.S. – the name;)
