The way back home..

We all have these childhood memories – some which get diluted with time and some which get frozen inside. And one of my fav among these sweet bachpan ki yaadein was - the way back home..
As a kid, one of my most awaited moments of the day was when the last bell would ring and we would run towards the ‘big blue bus’ and race to get that ‘window seat’.
For the dreamer that I was, the ‘big blue bus’ was a royal carriage that parked itself outside the gates, waiting under the shade to escort the little princesses back to their respective castles.
The ‘window’ for me was like an opening to another dreamy, larger-than-life sequence. Everything I was exposed to through it just amazed me.. Be it the trees swirling like a hand fan to cool off its residents, the baby sparrows chirping to their mothers for lunch, the dust particles that danced to their own tunes under the sunlight, the vehicles at the signal which looked like complicated parts of a jig-saw puzzle scattered on the road, the roadside vendor who stood like a scarecrow swaying the flies away, the dogs who lazed on the footpaths like kings on their thrones and the people who ran at every crossing even when the signal went ‘red’..
It was like the orchestra of life was being played for me. It was my royal privilege.

But, years later, tracing the way back home seemed so surprisingly different. It was weary in a way because I felt so much like a lost wanderer. The roads were the same, so were the turns and so were the structures that garlanded them. Growth had definitely contributed to the add-ons, but that’s not what surprised me. It was me - my growth that had startled me more than anything.

That ‘window’ seemed to have suddenly disappeared. And its then that it dawned upon me that it was not only the trees that had grown over the years, but me too. We both were following the law of the nature. And the ‘tree of sense’ that had fruited in me had unknowingly overshadowed my untamed land of innocence.
The logic in me did not allow me to think illogically.
So, the trees didn’t sway but stood still, the chirpings couldn’t be heard because of the car honks, the dust particles were nothing but pollutants, the vehicles were not part of the jig-saw but were carbon emitting machines contributing to global warming, the roadside vendor was not a scarecrow but a guy selling unhygienic food and people ran all over leaving no space for even dogs to laze around.
The eyes were the same, but, the perception had changed. The feel had changed.

We keep getting nagged all our lives to grow up, act matured, think rationally, make sense and blah blah. But if ALL THIS comes at a cost of losing our innocence, I rather think that the trees are just tired, the sparrows have gone for a summer vacation, the dust particles are performing a carnival finale, the vehicles are still a part of the jig-saw puzzle, the roadside vendor is best at his job, the dogs are ruling so well that there are more people wanting to be a part of their kingdom and that the ‘window’ is just playing a ‘disapparting’ trick with me.

Changes in others are so visibly spotted by us, but the changes within us are so easily glossed over. We are so busy reacting to others, appreciating, criticizing the changes around that we almost ignore ourselves - our growth. And that’s what is astounding.